Few human experiences sting through proverbs like ingratitude: doing good to one who denies it. Arabic tradition distilled this into sayings both painful and true, presented here with their meanings and origins.
قلّما لسعت تجربةٌ إنسانية الأمثالَ كما لسعها نكران الجميل: أن تُحسن إلى مَن يجحد إحسانك. جمعت العرب في ذلك أمثالاً موجعة وصادقة، نعرضها هنا بمعانيها وأصولها.
اتَّقِ شرَّ مَن أحسنتَ إليه
Beware the harm of the one you have treated well.
Some repay kindness with harm — when the ignoble cannot return a favour, they may turn on their benefactor. A warning about ingratitude, not a counsel against doing good.
A widely circulated maxim whose attribution varies across sources; it runs as common proverbial tradition with no settled author.
جَزاءُ سِنِمّار
The reward of Sinimmār.
Said of someone repaid for his good work with the ugliest recompense. In Arab lore Sinimmār was the builder who raised a palace for al-Nuʿmān and was thrown from its top so he could never build its like for anyone else. Used of rank ingratitude — kindness answered with injury.
An old Arabic proverb built on a story preserved in the lore and proverb literature; the details of the tale vary between sources, while the proverb itself is long-established.
سمّن كلبك ياكلك
Fatten your dog and it will eat you.
Some people answer kindness with betrayal: they grow strong on what you gave them, then turn on you. Said of rank ingratitude, and as a warning against strengthening anyone who will not remember the hand that fed him.
A folk proverb current in the Gulf and, in close variants, elsewhere in the Arab world.
علمناه على الشحاذة سبقنا على الأبواب
We taught him to beg and he got to the doors before us.
Someone may learn from you, then forget what he owes you, crowd you out of your own livelihood and get there ahead of you. Said of ingratitude and of a pupil turning on his teacher — with a sharp comic sting.
A folk proverb current in the Gulf and elsewhere in the Arab world.
كمُجيرِ أمِّ عامر
Like the man who gave refuge to Umm ʿĀmir.
Said of a man who was good to someone undeserving and was repaid with injury. Umm ʿĀmir is the Arabs’ byname for the hyena, and the story tells of a man who sheltered one from hunters and gave it water, whereupon it turned on him. Used of ingratitude — a favour answered with treachery.
An old Arabic proverb resting on a story recorded in the proverb literature; its details differ between tellings, while the proverb itself is long-established.
يأكل الغلة ويسبّ الملة
He eats the harvest and curses the community.
Said of someone who lives off the good of a people, a country or a household and then denies what he owes them and speaks ill of them. Used of ingratitude — a favour answered with abuse.
A common proverb current in Egypt, Morocco, Algeria and elsewhere in the Arab world, so we do not assign it to one country. It is also told in the plural, and in colloquial pronunciation.
قلبي على ولدي انفطر وقلب ولدي عليَّ حجر
My heart broke for my child; my child’s heart toward me is stone.
Said in the grief of a parent who spent a lifetime caring for a child and then met no mercy or loyalty in return. Used of ingratitude among the closest of kin — the most painful form it takes.
An inherited folk proverb in circulation across the Arab world, so we do not assign it to one country. Its second half is also told as “and my child’s heart is on a stone.”
أُعلِّمه الرمايةَ كلَّ يومٍ فلمّا اشتدَّ ساعدُه رماني
I taught him archery day after day, and when his arm grew strong he shot me.
Said of someone who learned from a benefactor and then turned what he learned against him. Used of ingratitude — teaching and upbringing repaid with betrayal.
A line of old Arabic verse that has long circulated as a proverb. The lines are attributed to Maʿn ibn Aws al-Muzanī, and also to Mālik ibn Fahm al-Azdī, so the ascription is disputed. The first half is transmitted with istadda as well as ishtadda, and the poem continues: “and how often I taught him to string rhymes — and once he managed one, he lampooned me.”
ومَن يَجعَلِ المعروفَ في غيرِ أهلِهِ يكنْ حَمدُهُ ذمّاً عليه ويَندَمِ
Whoever places a kindness where it does not belong will find his praise turned to blame — and will regret it.
Whoever does good to someone undeserving of it meets not thanks but disparagement, and is left regretting a kindness put in the wrong place. Said of ingratitude, and of the need to consider who a favour is being placed with.
Attributed to Zuhayr ibn Abī Sulmā, but the commentaries and recensions disagree over the wording of the line at this point in the Muʿallaqa: al-Zawzānī’s commentary on the Muʿallaqāt fills the slot, among Zuhayr’s own run of maxims, with «ومن يجعل المعروف من دون عرضه / يفره ومن لا يتق الشتم يشتم», while other references carry the popular «في غير أهله» line there instead. It also circulates with yaṣnaʿi (“does”) in place of yajʿali (“places”). We record the disagreement rather than affirming either wording as the text of the Muʿallaqa.
إذا أنتَ أكرمتَ الكريمَ ملكتَه وإن أنتَ أكرمتَ اللئيمَ تمرَّدا
Honour a noble man and you have won him; honour a base one and he turns insolent.
Kindness draws out the heart of a noble man and he becomes yours; a base one reads the same kindness the wrong way, denies it, and only grows more overbearing. Said of ingratitude, and of matching a favour to the person it is placed with.
A line by Abū al-Ṭayyib al-Mutanabbī (10th c.) from his poem “every man has of his age whatever he grew used to,” long since circulating as a proverb. The line that follows it runs: “placing bounty where the sword belongs harms high standing, as does placing the sword where bounty belongs.” It is attributable verse, not an anonymous proverb.
ديوان المتنبّي — Dīwān al-Mutanabbī
Arabic has a whole family of sayings for ingratitude: “the reward of Sinimmār” (جزاء سنمّار) for good work repaid with the ugliest recompense, “fatten your dog and it will eat you” (سمّن كلبك ياكلك) for someone who grows strong on what you gave him and then turns on you, and “he eats the harvest and curses the community” (يأكل الغلة ويسبّ الملة) for one who lives off a people’s good and then speaks ill of them.
ما هي الأمثال العربية التي تتحدث عن نكران الجميل؟ للعربية أسرةٌ كاملة من الأمثال في نكران الجميل: «جَزاءُ سِنِمّار» لمن جُوزي على إحسانه بأقبح الجزاء، و«سمّن كلبك ياكلك» لمن يقوى بما أعطيتَه ثمّ ينقلب عليك، و«يأكل الغلة ويسبّ الملة» لمن ينتفع بخير قومٍ ثمّ يجحد فضلَهم ويُسيء إليهم بلسانه.
In Arab lore Sinimmār was the builder who raised a palace for al-Nuʿmān and was thrown from its top so that he could never build its like for anyone else — hence “the reward of Sinimmār” for a service answered with injury. The details of the tale differ between the sources that record it, while the proverb itself is long established.
ما قصة المثل «جَزاءُ سِنِمّار»؟ سِنِمّار في أخبار العرب بنّاءٌ شيّد قصراً للنعمان فأُلقي من أعلاه لئلّا يبنيَ مثلَه لغيره، فصار «جَزاءُ سِنِمّار» مثلاً لمن قُوبل إحسانُه بالأذى. وتختلف تفاصيلُ الخبر في المصادر التي أوردته، أمّا المثَلُ نفسه فسائرٌ معروف.
No — they warn about people, not about kindness. “Beware the harm of the one you have treated well” (اتق شر من أحسنت إليه) cautions that some repay a favour with injury, and al-Mutanabbī’s line that honouring a noble man wins him over while honouring a base one only makes him more overbearing asks you to weigh who a favour is placed with, not to withhold it.
هل تعني الأمثال عن نكران الجميل أن نكفَّ عن الإحسان؟ لا، فهي تحذيرٌ من الناس لا نهيٌ عن الإحسان. فمثل «اتَّقِ شرَّ مَن أحسنتَ إليه» تحذيرٌ من أنّ بعضهم يقابل المعروف بالإساءة، وبيتُ المتنبي في أنّ إكرام الكريم يملِكه وإكرام اللئيم يزيده تمرُّداً يدعو إلى النظر فيمن يُوضَع فيه المعروف، لا إلى منعه.